Letter

[favoritebean_writes]

Dear Yamyam_kat,

I run out of minutes in the day, so I can never fully express my thoughts. Some days, I don’t even get home from work events until after you have already fallen asleep. Others, I find that we need to rush hither and thither, and put out this or that fire. So I only manage to tell you that I love you, wish you good dreams, and that you should get to sleep for the next big day tomorrow.

When you were born, I was terrified that I would lose you. The doctor made a major mistake in haste to bring you into the world. I still get sad whenever I pass the hospital you were born in. I think about how the doctor had not slept in 48 hours, and that in her haste to make enough money to retire early, she almost took you from me for good. Lucky me, she didn’t.

Because of my fear, I have raised you perhaps a little more strict fashion than what your friends have experienced. I still ask you to hold my hand in parking lots, or when crossing the street. Not just for your safety, but for fear that one little twist or crack will cause you to be lost forever.

I realize that you will not be young forever, and that I need to let you learn to fly on your own. However, I also realize that I will inevitably make mistakes along your path. For that, I will try to be the best parent I can be, but I will not be perfect. No one is. I hope that you will understand both now and later.

I don’t say this often enough, but I am so incredibly grateful that the doctor’s mistake did not take you from me. I am grateful that I can watch you grow into the unique and gifted individual you are. I know that I sometimes grow impatient with having to recite the same lesson over and over. But I still love you, even on my saddest days.

I thank you for your creativity. I thank you for your kindness. I thank you for your eagerness to learn, and for your patience for dealing with things you may not like. Even if I am not there, I always think of you, and how thankful I am to have had the chance to meet you. I am thankful that I was able to keep you company for this part of your life. I hope my gratitude shows, and that you are aware that it is genuine.

Love Always,

Mommy

Comments

[bsgsix]

Oh wow. I love this thank you, and feel it deeply (as someone who almost lost her only living child during birth as well). This struck a nerve (in a good way) deep within me, and I think it's beautiful - and definitely, absolutely genuine. <3

[favoritebean_writes]

Thank you for your very kind comment. I'm sorry you nearly lost your little one too. Our hospital had a 65% c-section rate, and I think I learned later that close to 40% of those were emergency c-sections. I find myself still angry at the doctor years later.

Thank you so much for sharing your past with me.

[murielle]

What a lovely and personal declaration of your love and devotion to share with us. What a wonderful honor to be privy to such a precious moment.

*Hugs* And *Hugs* to yamyam_kat.

[favoritebean_writes]

Thank you. I have been meaning to write something like this for her for a long time. As time speeds up, I fear that our moments together will become fewer.

I will give her extra hugs from you, thank you.