Highball

[favoritebean_writes]

“Not everything is worth salvaging,” I say flatly.  The customer across from me stares at me, mouth agape.

 

“How can you say that?” he cried, “I thought he was my soulmate, and my heart hurts at his betrayal.”

 

I pour a pint of stout and pass the glass over to the customer.

 

“On the house,” I say softly.  “Your heart hurts now, but beer and time heal many wounds.  Besides, was this gentleman truly your soulmate? You caught him in the arms of another, did you not? No soulmate worth their salt would treat you so poorly.”

 

The customer downs the pint.  As he slams the glass down on the table, he sighs.

 

“S’pose you’re right.”

 

“Damn right, I am!  Now.  I say this as one who has walked this Earth for many moons. There are other fish to catch.”  I wink, point to my right, and turn away.  The customer follows my finger, and within seconds, he has crossed the room to meet his destiny for the night.

 

“Smooth matchmaking there, bartender!”  A silky alto voice cuts through the chatter like a hot knife to butter.  A tall woman takes a seat at the stool previously occupied by the broken-hearted gentleman from before.

 

I nod.  “Evening, Maize,” I say. I grab highball glass and proceed to fill it with ice. 

 

“Good evening,” she says with a nod.  “Mending broken hearts with a side of Guinness?”

 

“I try,” I say, just loud enough for my voice to carry over the clinking of the ice against glass.  “Usual for you, Madame Maize?”

 

Maize nods, and I set to work making a highball.

 

“You’re in luck.  My shipment of Japanese whisky came in this afternoon.”

 

“Excellent,” Maize smiles.  Her smile is charming, and that charm never ceases to lure unsuspecting drunkards to their demise after my bar closes.  I must remind her from time to time not to drink all my customers dry, lest I lose profits.  Yet somehow, new customers show the next night.

 

My bar is not in a touristy part of town, yet it’s never empty, save when I close.  I don’t know how it manages to remain profitable, only that it does, and I keep serving the drinks.

 

“Have you ever considered how your life would have turned out had you said, ‘No?’” Maize asked me softly. 

 

I casually slide the highball over to Maize, and bus the pint glass from the bar.

 

“I do,” I finally answered after placing the glass in the dish pan.  “For starters, I would be quite dead by now.  I’m approaching my 143^rd birthday, you know?  Even had I lived a life of virtue, I reckon the best I could do was about 90.”

 

“You reckon how?” Maize asked with a smile.  “Nice highball, by the way.  I’ve missed that whisky so much.”

 

“Well, my daughter and son both lived to be 90 and 93 respectively, their children lived to be 92, 96, and 84.  Their children-“

 

“You kept in touch with your progeny?  Why Dorothea, I had no idea you were the sentimental type!” Maize raised an eyebrow to me.

 

“I didn’t keep in touch with them.  When our Mistress Marie turned me, I returned home after a few months.  I waited until I knew I could trust myself not to murder my own children for a good drink, and I showed up one evening.  Turns out, they thought I had died already, and had a fit. Clarence, dear sap, saw my baby fangs, and knew what had happened.  He tried to stake me. That Stoker novel was rather popular again, and Clarence had a penchant for horror.  One look at me, and what he thought was simply a good story was now a reality, and he took it poorly.”

 

“Did Marie not tell you the basic rules?”  Maize appeared scandalized.

 

“Are we playin’ a game?” a student from the nearby university sidled up to the bar.

 

“Ahh, yes we are!  What can I getcha?” I ask, smiling broadly.

 

“Uh, can I get a Flat Tire?” the student asked.

 

“Fat Tire?” I ask.

 

“Oh yeah, that,” the student smiled sheepishly. “A bazooka sized, at that!”

 

“Sure thing!  One Fat Tire.  First, let me see some ID,” I level a gaze at the student. 

 

Eyes wide, the student produced an ID.  “Today’s my birthday!” the student proclaimed.  Sure enough, the college kid in front of me had just turned 21.  I felt ancient.

 

“Happy birthday!  I’ll give you a pint on the house to celebrate.  If you want a bazooka after, order food first. Bar rules,” I point to a sign behind me that read:

 

 All alcohol drinks larger than a pint must be accompanied by a main menu food item.  No exceptions.

 

“Oh,” the student said, looking crestfallen, “I don’t have enough money for food.”

 

Maize touched the student’s arm, and said in that silky alto voice, “You can live fast and die young, but not at my friend Dot’s bar, hmm? Some rules are meant to be obeyed.”

 

Visibly shaken by what Maize said, the student took their beer, and disappeared into the crowd behind.

 

“Even I have standards.  I mean, yes, this place brings the best dinner, but that kid’s asking for trouble.  Trying to get smashed on their 21^st?”  Maize shook her head.  “So as I was saying, those basic rules?”

 

“Yeah, Marie never told me a thing.  Maybe she wanted me to fail, I don’t know.  The night she turned me, I remember clearly.  Someone barged in, and I heard her say in a low voice, ‘Some things aren’t worth salvaging.’  I remember hearing a bowl breaking, and the next thing I knew, it was a Tuesday, and I felt like death. I figured Marie left me for dead, because I didn’t see her again until the night I met you.”

 

“Marie was a horrible Mistress.  How about I teach you the rules then?”

 

“Now, Sister Maize!  You know that we’ve both been vampires for well over a century.  I’m sure you are at least my age, if not slightly younger.”

 

“Older,” Maize corrected.

 

“Still, what rules are left to learn?”

 

“Perhaps that you were worth salvaging? Perhaps many others are worth it too?”

 

“I’ll give you the ‘Others’ part.  Plenty of humans are worth saving, even if they’ve doomed the Earth in recent years.”

 

“You’re worth it too, dear Sis.  You weren’t cast aside, Marie wasn’t raised by a nurturing family, so she never learned to nurture us.  Still, your progeny.  You still look in on them?”

 

“I stopped after generation four. I never quite got over the fact that Clarence tried to kill me.  That’s why I won’t turn anyone.  My Earthly progeny are enough, and I would hate for my Vampire progeny to meet some horrible demise early on.  What about you though?  Have you ever considered how your life would have turned out had you resisted Mistress Marie?”

 

“Well,” Maize huffed.  “I’m positive I would have missed out on having the best ‘lil Sister Dot to spend my evenings with.  I’m sure the flu would have killed me, or consumption.  I had a nagging cough, and my Ma died from consumption, I’m told.  So I would have had a few miserable years maybe?  Marie was a terrible second mother, but I thank her for that chance at life.” Maize lifted her highball to salute our dead Vampire Mom. 

 

I nod and proceed to make two more highballs.  One for my undead sister, and one for me.  As I add the twist of lemon, another bartender grabs a towel, claps me on my back, and wishes me a good dinner break.  I smile at the bartender, eye my customers to make sure they’re happy, and shuffle off arm in arm with Maize, drink in hand. 

 

 

 

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

This was cute! Perfect dialogue! It was such a fun story!

[favoritebean_writes]

Thank you!

[erulissedances]

Two very rich characters here. I enjoyed the premise of the tale - there are so many ways to use this week's prompt.

- Erulisse (one L)

[favoritebean_writes]

Of all things, I was inspired by a game of Unstable Unicorns just before writing this. Thank you so much for your feedback.

[bleodswean]

LOL! I loved the idea of these two gals chatting across the bar. Great dialogue!

[favoritebean_writes]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback. This was fun to write, and I realized just how much I miss writing dialogue.

[gunwithoutmusic]

This was good! I like the idea of this just being two old friends chatting at the bar at their regular time every day, like those old folks you see that have been best friends for fifty years or something, but with that little added twist. :) It's very "vampires are regular people too" and I kinda like that.

[favoritebean_writes]

Thank you so much for this feedback! I was honestly worried that readers would perceive this piece as rather corny.

[dsrmousey]

Not at all! And it was done without Gore and very pleasant conversation!

[ofearthandstars]

This a fun and intriguing tale - I like the casualness of the conversation, given the "twist"!

[favoritebean_writes]

Thank you for reading! While writing this, I realized how much I missed writing dialogue, and I hope to do more.

[roina_arwen]

The fact that they are vampires was a fun twist!

[favoritebean_writes]

And they didn't even drink anyone's blood! Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading.

[marlawentmad]

This was a fun story. I liked the mash up of a familiar scene with a supernatural twist, in which no one was in danger of being drained throughout. It's a refreshing take!

[drippedonpaper]

Well I never thought of how lucky one could be to be a vampire. You are so creative!!

With every gift, there is a ying to the yang. Men rarely want their women to change (ie, Clarence trying to kill her) and perhaps...do kids outgrow us? I often wonder that, as mine get older. I hope I can keep a bond with them.

Your story is very thought-provoking. Very clever!

[dsrmousey]

This... I'm a Vampaholic so i loved it. Peace~~~Desiree

[itismeangied]

Love the high energy banter, really draws you in!

[banana_galaxy]

You know, the thing that strikes me most here is the rule about ordering food with certain beverages. That seems like such a good rule to have!

I liked the way you subtly introduced the true nature of these characters, and Dot's history following her family.

[alycewilson]

The dialogue works especially well in this.